Please enjoy our first feature based on the June 2010 Issue of La Voz eMagazine.
“Why don't you go back to your country?”, “Why don't you just become an American citizen and stop breaking the law?”, “Why do you steal our jobs and our identities?” These are the kinds of questions that I hear from people who don't want me here. People who think I’m a “criminal”, and who judge me because of my legal status in this country. But who are they to judge? If they only knew what I have been through throughout my entire life: the suffering... the pain. I’m not looking for anyone to feel sorry for me, I just want people to understand that I'm not in this country because I want to take jobs, or because I want to break the law, all I want is an opportunity to become a productive citizen, who can do a lot for this country.
Ten years ago, I came to this country with my mother, my sister and my two year-old brother, and even though my mom always tells me not to say it, I am not ashamed of admitting that I am undocumented. My mom brought me here to look for a better quality of life. I also admit that I didn't want to come. I didn't want to leave everything behind; my grandma, my tias (aunts), my best friends, my country... but I had to. My mother had to raise five children on her own, and not only that, she also had to put up with my “dad”, who would beat her up every time he had a chance. We had to move from one place to another, hiding from him. She had a job as a janitor at a school, but it was not enough to feed five children on her own.
Crossing the border was one of the most traumatizing experiences I have ever had. My mother, my sister, my baby brother, and I had to walk for about half a day throughout the Arizona desert. I still remember hiding inside a hole because we heard the immigration trucks driving very close to us. I am still very proud of my little brother, because even though he was only two, he behaved very well and didn't cry at all. If he would have, we would have gotten caught for sure. Finally, we arrived to this wonderful country.
I couldn't believe how different it was from my country; the streets, the stores, the people, the schools, I LOVED IT! Now that I have been here for so long, I feel like this is my home, and I don't want to leave, even though I feel like I'm not wanted here.
I have been attending school since the first week we were here, and at first I hated it because I had no idea what the teacher was saying, and only one girl in my class spoke Spanish. It was like a nightmare, and I thought I was never going to wake up. I learned English in about a year. I couldn't speak it very well, but I could understand most of it. I was getting better grades, and at that point everyone started to realize that I was kind of smart, and I wasn't as stupid for not understanding anything the rest of the kids and my teacher were saying. Once I got to high school, I could speak, read and write English very well, I was on the top five percent of my class, and started getting all types of awards. I also started getting involved in sports and even ended up as the president of our school's Latino Club. Everything was like a dream, until my senior year came.
During my senior year, I realized how hard it is to be an undocumented student in this country. The first few months I was so excited because a lot of my teachers and coaches would tell me that they were proud of me, and that I was for sure going to go to college and that I was going to do great. So I went to talk to the lady in the career center, and she said I had very little possibilities of achieving this because universities did not accept undocumented students and that most scholarships were going to ask me for my social security number. Right at that moment she cut my wings. I went home and asked myself and God, “Why me?” I couldn't understand why I had to suffer so much if it wasn't my idea to come to this country in the first place. I was only eleven, and never took the decision to come here. That same night I came to my senses, and I decided I was not going to give up.
I applied to all the colleges and universities in the State of Arizona, and also to about 15 private scholarships. It was hard work, but it paid off when I got a letter from Arizona State University telling me that I was accepted. That was one of the most exciting days of my life, and the first thing I did the next day was to take the letter to the lady in the career center. I also received 6 scholarships, including 3 full rides to ASU. I know that like her many people are not very well informed of who we are and what kinds of things we can do.
In 2007, Prop 300 passed in Arizona. This law did not allow undocumented students to get in-state tuition and also denied any type of funding from the state to continue our education. They took away all of my scholarships. All those nights I spent filling out scholarship applications, and all of those hours I spent doing community service hours and homework for my AP classes were ignored because of my status. But once again, I decided to not give up and I applied to as many private scholarships as I could. All that hard work paid off again when a community organization awarded me a scholarship that allowed me to complete my education.
In May of 2009 I graduated from Arizona State University with a BA in Psychology. It was the first commencement ceremony that Barack Obama had attended as the new president of the United States. It was a sweet-bitter taste. I was proud of everything I had accomplished, but knowing that at the end of the day, that beautiful diploma from ASU was just a piece of paper that was going to hang on my wall. I was not going to be able to use it because of my status.
I might not able to use my degree, but I still have the power to fight for my family, my community and the people I love. I will not stop until this country realizes that I am not a criminal. I only want an opportunity. They can cut our wings over and over again, but I know they will always grow again, and one day all the DREAMERS and their families will fly freely in this wonderful country. They can make our road bumpy, but we will always keep driving!
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